What you need to do if you hate your boss

What you need to do if you hate your boss. We’ve all been in this situation before and it can really affect your days, weeks, years of going into your workplace. There is nothing worse than seeing your amazing co workers, or working on something your passionate about (or just trying to earn money), and having this looming feeling of anxiety, over-powering all of the good things you look forward to with work, just because of your boss!

Dilemma:

The VERY first day I met my boss, I’d already been on the team for a while, so he was coming into the team new. He pulled me aside and I felt like I was being told off like a school child.

There was a miscommunication between me and the customer (I had done nothing wrong) and he immediately blamed me and started telling me the qualities he wants from me as an employer. One thing he said was ‘I’m very big on trust, and we haven’t started off on a very good foot’.

I was very angry, because I had done nothing wrong and he was choosing to believe the customer over me!

Now, every time I come in, I feel like I’m walking on eggshells around him, whenever he asks how I’m doing I feel so fake having to put on a smile and talk to him about my day.

But. This man is very socially awkward. I can tell that he tries really hard with the team to make friends. He previously had a higher title, and got put down to a lower role. Which has to be a little humiliating. So I think his outbursts are just for him to feel like he still has that power he previously had.

Yours truly, bigsisterera

Check out my previous dilemma post in case you missed it! http://bigsisterera.com/i-dont-know-who-i-am-without-my-boyfriend/

As you can see from the dilemma above, this has happened to me. I am very happy to share all of my experiences, of the challenges of growing up, especially being younger and finding your feet in the workplace.

So what did I do?

I’m not going to lie, at first I literally avoided him as much as I could, until I could figure out a plan for what I was going to do. Because I knew I didn’t want to have to deal with this forever, so I had to come up with some sort of strategy to make things easier for myself. But the good thing about this happening to me, is now you know what to do if this ever happens to you!

1. I got all of my anger about my boss out!

I knew that talking to someone would make things so much easier, because I could see things from a different perspective.

Speaking to a co worker I trusted, (very important by the way, because at work, gossip spreads like wildfire) who was noticing the same things, and we just got out our feelings to each other.

I made sure that it didn’t turn into anything more than just getting out your feelings. Because if things spread, you need to make sure that nothing you say will come back to bite you.

Another way to get your anger out is journaling. I journaled so much throughout this time. I needed some way to get my feelings out. Because work is a big part of your life, the feelings that come with it is also a big part of your life.

I journaled because I needed a way to get out my feelings, that weren’t always talking to a co worker, because I didn’t want anyone to hear.

You don’t have to journal, there’s loads of things you can do. Here’s some ideas:

• Talking to a friend outside of work
• Talking to your family or family members
• Getting your anger out through a sweaty workout
• Deep breathing

2. I focused on the good things at work, rather than thinking about my boss

I have always been a good worker, and I knew that my boss would see that and realise he made a mistake in blaming me over the customer.

My work ethic meant that he could quickly trust me to get the job done, which also built up his respect towards me.

And if I made a mistake, I held my hands up and didn’t get defensive. That makes it so much more satisfying for my boss telling me off.

I still asked all of my co workers how they were doing and had a little catchup, even if my boss was still around. I definitely wasn’t going to lose my co workers as friends because I felt as though I was walking on eggshells around my boss.

It’s easy to find yourself feeling guilty for not doing work every second of your shift when you boss is around. But asking your co workers how they are when you first come in, is a nice thing to do, were all human needing social interactions, so I definitely wasn’t going to stop.

3. I made sure I was in a good mood before work

The car journey going to every shift, I made sure to fill it with my favourite upbeat music, so I could sing a long and feel happy when starting my shift. This makes me feel like nothing can bring me down!!!

I would also listen to my favourite podcasts, anything to get me in a good mood! Here are some of my favourite podcasts:

• The girls bathroom – Sophia and Cinzia https://spotify.link/vvDcArbz6xb
• Sad to savage – Shelby Sacco https://spotify.link/lYp3KDez6xb
• The Skinny Confidential https://spotify.link/tXOg2ohz6xb
• For Better Days – Keara Callahan https://spotify.link/NAK49xkz6xb

Doing this meant I was putting myself first and making sure that my happiness came before anyone else’s.

It also meant that the time I spent driving to work I wasn’t thinking about work.

4. I made sure I felt confident

This one sounds silly, but making sure I felt and looked confident, made me feel better about facing the shift ahead of me.

Here are some things that could make you feel good:

• Putting on makeup
• Doing your hair
• Putting on a nice perfume
• Saying affirmations to yourself
• Working out before work
• Journaling before work

5. I befriended my boss

I read a book called ‘How to win friends and influence people’ by Dale Carnegie. https://amzn.to/42y8qTK

Parts of the book said that if you’re in trouble and you hold your hands up first (even if you haven’t particularly done anything wrong). Then the boss or person of authority will more likely say – don’t worry, everything is okay, we’ll find a way around it. Rather than if you were to get defensive, your boss will tell you all the reasons why you’re in the wrong, and will end up getting even more angry about it.

I decided to always take accountability for my mistakes, even if they were minor. This not only made me feel like I was in control of the situation, but it made my boss trust me more.

Parts of the book also mentioned that people love talking about themselves. So if you can leave a conversation where they have talked about themselves then thats a win. Find out their interests. Ask them about their family. They feel more listened to, and as though they have had a really good conversation, even if you didn’t say much.

In doing this, finding out more about my boss, we ended up having a really good conversation about how much we both love dogs lol. I wouldn’t say we were the best of friends, but somewhat civil with each other.

And ever since then, I haven’t been walking on eggshells. Because I know that he respects me. Values our conversations because I ask him how he’s doing. Makes an effort to ask how I’m doing. Never questions my ability to do my job well anymore, because he trusts me, as well as trusting me to come forward if I have a problem.

6. Understand that you’ll never be treat exactly how you want

Working when you’re in your early 20s, people may not respect you as much, especially if it’s a part time job while you’re getting through school. That’s just the way it is in a lot of places, so don’t take it personally.

The most important thing you can do is protect your mental health and just remember than you have control. Your boss will most likely not be a part of your life forever.

Just try to enjoy the little things.

Any dilemma’s or situations you would like me to talk about please leave a comment below <3