Today’s post is going to be talking all about the pressures of drinking and partying, and how to not feel so pressured to drink and go out.
So let’s get into it…
Personally, I don’t like going out and drinking very often.
I used to think I liked it, and wanted to fit in so bad. But every time I went out, I’d always want to either come home early, get more drunk so that I could catch up to other people and not feel awkward (and then proceed to regret how I drank that much in the first place).
I think when you’re younger, there is a lot of pressure to ‘live your life’ and go out and have fun. But is it really living your life if you’re not actually having fun?
Don’t get me wrong sometimes when I go out, I have an amazing time, so I don’t know why sometimes going out just sounds like the worst thing in the world.
Firstly, why do we feel pressure?
I think the pressure stems from feeling like you have to follow the crowd and fit in.
If everyone is doing something, and you’re not, then you don’t want to look like the odd one out. So there is a fear of looking like the odd one out and not fitting in.
Most of us are people pleasers to begin with. We don’t want to let anyone down, or upset anyone by not joining in. And sometimes it’s hard to say no.
Fear of rejection. If you are one of the small number of people who don’t drink / don’t drink a lot, then people may not want to invite you out.
In your teens and your early 20s, no one wants to feel rejected or left out. So there is the pressure of caving in and going out to environments you may not want to be in, so you don’t have the fear of missing out, or not being included / invited.
How to not feel pressured to drink and go out
Find friends who are similar to you
Obviously, I’m not telling you to get rid of all of your friends if they all like to go out and you don’t. They may be your friends because you have another thing in common.
So basically, you need to find friends where that thing in common, is the fact they don’t like to go out a lot either!
Then you can keep both friendship groups, and hang out with each other at different times!
But if your friends are the one pressuring you, and making you feel bad about not wanting to drink or go out, then maybe it is time to find some new friends.
I have a blog post of friendships if you are interested (http://bigsisterera.com/why-havent-i-found-my-close-group-of-girl-friends-yet/)
How to find these friends:
- Join clubs. If you join a club doing something you’re interested in, then I guarantee there will be at least one person there who enjoys doing the same things as you.
- Make online friends. If you like to sit in the house and read, or watch movies, or have some other interesting hobby, there are DEFINITELY group chats, or online clubs for it! I joined a book club on Facebook where there are loads of girls who read the same vibe books as me and we can chat about them!
Put your happiness first
If staying in / doing what you want to do, over drinking and going out, makes you more happy, then do it.
It’s easier said than done when you do feel pressured, but why are we trying to make other people happy, by making ourselves unhappy?
At the end of the day, when we look back, we don’t want to remember feeling sad and uncomfortable during all of the times we went out, we want to remember feeling happy, putting ourselves first, and not caving in to peer pressure.
You aren’t missing out
When I tell you, that there is nothing life changing (for the better) happening in the club, there really isn’t.
Yes of course you might have a good time and be social, but if you know you’d have a better time being social going out for food, or coffee dates, then that’s okay!
You can eliminate some of the FOMO (fear of missing out), due to the fact that there is literally nothing to be missing out on!
Realise that the reason you don’t drink, is no ones business
People can make whatever assumptions they want about why you don’t drink, but who cares what anyone else thinks.
They’re only going to care for about 2 seconds, and when you say to them ‘I don’t drink because I just don’t want to’ they will get over it. And if they don’t then they obviously care a lot about your life.
You don’t even have to tell people why you’re not drinking.
But honestly, it’s really not that deep and just because you go somewhere where everyone is drinking, doesn’t mean you also have to drink.
It doesn’t make you boring
I know there is this fear of being boring if you don’t drink or don’t want to go out. But trust me, it doesn’t make you boring.
There are so many other things in life to do, rather than go out.
I barely go out, and have friends that go out a lot. Do they think I’m boring? No, because our friendship isn’t based off of going out.
Thank you for reading <3
I hope this post helped if you are feeling pressure to drink and go out when you don’t want to.
Just remember that you are the most important person, and your happiness should be put over everything else, because after all, we are here to have a happy life.
If you stay true to yourself, then you will be happy in life and you will find your true friends.
This is also a shorted blog post compared to what I usually write, so let me know if you like this better than having a longer one!
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