Maybe you’re new to the whole relationships thing, maybe you have been with your partner a while and are wondering how to maintain the healthy relationship after the honeymoon phase is over.
I am going to give you my best tips on how to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner (coming from someone who has been with my boyfriend for 4.5years).
Disclaimer: I am not a professional. If you are in a toxic relationship and need help, please contact a professional and stay safe.
Act as if you are still trying to win them
Very often, after a while in the relationship, you start to get comfortable.
You get into a routine of being together, rather than trying to win each other.
When you still treat them like your trying to win their heart, they get reminded everyday of the reasons they fell for you in the first place.
How can I act like I am still trying to win them?
- Go on dates. They don’t have to be expensive, they don’t have to cost money at all. But that effort of dating at the start of the relationship should always continue.
- I have a whole post on free date ideas here: http://bigsisterera.com/date-ideas-that-are-free/
- Compliment each other regularly. It doesn’t matter if you said ‘your beautiful’ at the start of the relationship 100 times, the effect it has is still the same and will never ware off.
- Send them things that remind you of them. It’s little gestures like this, that make you happy knowing your other half is thinking about you throughout the day. It also means they know you well.
- Flirt with each other. If you still have excitement and get giddy in the relationship, then there won’t be any need to find excitement anywhere else.
- Keep laughing. I don’t know about anyone else. But at the start of the relationship my boyfriend would do anything to make me laugh. That still happens now, even if he makes a fool of himself, it’s all to make me laugh.
Actively try and learn new things about them everyday
At the start of a new relationship, you want to get to know everything about the person.
You are showing your interest in the little things they are interested in.
Granted, as you get further into the relationship, there’s less to learn, because you already know so much about the person.
So to keep a healthy relationship, try to pay attention to the little things about the way they go about their day, the way they think about things, etc.
So how can I try and learn new things about them everyday?
- Ask about their day. Learning what parts of their day stick out to them is a good way of seeing what’s important to them in their day.
- What has been their favourite part of their week?
- Did they find a new food craving? I don’t know about you but I get different cravings every couple of months that I can’t help but have everyday.
- Did they struggle with something in particular this week?
Never stop asking questions about the other person.
You remember at the start of the relationship when all you would do was ask questions and tell each other about yourselves?
Well you need to continue learning and finding out more about your partner!
Communicate with each other
This can be about positive or negative stuff.
If there is something you love about them, tell them. If there is something you don’t like about them, tell them.
As soon as a problem arises, communicate immediately. Don’t brush anything under the rug, or leave it until it happens again and again.
Bring it up immediately and that way you can talk to each other about it, and come to a mutual conclusion.
The importance of communication for a healthy relationship:
- Allows problems to get solved rather than linger
- Allows you to learn more about the other person
- You can see how well you work as a team
- You can better the relationship
- You can create your dream relationship together
- You can see if you are right for each other
It’s you and them vs the problem
Sometimes in stressful situations, or if mistakes happen, it is so easy to blame the other person and argue with them, rather than actually solving the problem in front of you.
A healthy relationship should always be you and them vs the problem, no matter what the problem is.
For example:
- One of you forgot to set the dishwasher away and so nothing is clean for the morning.
- Instead of blaming the other person, over a genuine mistake, just say okay, lets clean these dishes together quickly!
- You’re stressed about your financial situation.
- It’s easy (if you live together and share money) to take everything out on your partner, but you need to focus your energy into solving the problem, rather than getting angry with each other!
Spend quality time together
When you live with someone, or get comfortable with someone, it can be easy to just co exist around each other.
You may not be spending intentional, quality time together, and that is key for a healthy relationship!
What is intentional quality time?
You might live with your partner, and technically spend so much time together, but you might also feel like you miss them, and that you don’t see them enough.
That’s because you aren’t spending quality time together, you are just existing around each other.
This is also a big part of treating each other like you are still trying to win them.
When you were first starting to see each other, would you spend hours on your phone, sat right next to each other? Probably not.
- Instead of sitting together in the evenings doing your own thing, try to do something that involves both of you.
- Examples: board games, movie night, conversation.
- No phones / distractions when having dinner together. Why not make every night feel like a date night? You have plenty of time o go on your phone and have you time, you don’t need to be on your phone when you are having food together!
- P.s It doesn’t have to be dinner. If you have differing schedules and can only have one meal throughout the day together, or even one meal throughout the week together, then make it count!
- Have regular dates. Whatever you count as a date is up to you, whether thats a nice meal, or a stroll in the park. Never stop dating.
- Make the mundane tasks fun! Doing the dishes after dinner? Put music on and sing along. Running boring errands? Why not have a carpool karaoke? Tidying the full house? Why not make a fun challenge of who can get a task done first?
- Make up a tradition to do every week / month. Whether it’s on the first of the month, or a specific date, make a tradition. It could be watching an episode of a TV show you start together. Or having a pamper evening. Whatever you and your partner would enjoy doing!
Remember that no relationship is perfect
You are going to go through struggles, and arguments, and disagreements.
No relationship is 100% perfect all the time.
A healthy relationship contains the good and the bad, you just have to work through everything together.
Don’t compare your relationship to relationships on social media. People post the highlights of their relationship, not the struggles. Comparing your relationship to one on social media is setting you up for failure.
Thank you for reading <3
I hope this blog post has helped you if you were struggling to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner, or if you just wanted some relationship advice!
If you have any tips that could help others, please share them in the comments so that we can all thrive together!
Don’t miss my latest post
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(The planner I use: https://www.hellodayplanner.com/)
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