Feeling lost in your 20s

I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels like they have no clue what they are doing. If you are feeling lost in your 20s you are definitely not alone!

This post isn’t going to be loads of tips and advice, or telling you what you should be doing to figure out your life, because I have no tips to give. I have no advice because I am literally going through it right now.

See this post as you talking and listening to a friend who is going through the same things you are, and you can find comfort in navigating your 20s together.

So let’s talk about it together…

Finishing uni

I am so close to finishing uni and feeling all of these excited, but also nervous, feelings and emotions.

Similar to a lot of others (I hope), I have all of these thoughts running through my head, basically fearing the unknown, because I have been in education since I was 3, and now at 20 years old, 17 years later (wow that is a massive portion of my life – but also so little at the same time?!) I will be finishing education forever, and be in the big world.

If you are feeling scared, you are definitely not alone, and are definitely not silly for feeling that way! You have never experienced life after uni before. So feeling scared is justified.

Whether you are looking back on uni with fond memories or not, wanting to leave (me) or not, there is still going to be that level of uncertainty.

I feel like I’ve spent 4+ years, doing A LOT of work. Being in education and working a part time job is so hard, and we don’t get enough credit for it.

We literally go to school, get home, go to work, go to sleep, and repeat. And the days we do have off are probably spent catching up on work, as well as trying to live our life (because we deserve to live our life and have a day off, you know?)

So now, when we finish uni, we’re going to have all of this free time, which is going to feel so weird!

What to do in all of your free time

Going from having little free time, to a whole lot of free time, is going to feel strange.

I find myself feeling guilty already for the amount of free time I’m going to have. And I already know I’m going to feel like I need to be doing something, otherwise I’m wasting my days.

But let’s slow down a second… we deserve this break. I don’t know about you but I am exhausted! Mentally and physically. So having this time to recharge and truly just relax, is going to feel amazing. And I am going to try and really let myself relax without feeling guilty.

However… that being said, I will be filling my time with things, as well as resting…

• Blog – I love this blog, and speaking to you guys, so I can make that more of a priority. I could even go to little coffee shops and act like this is my full time job lol. (Act like the person you want to be and you’ll become her)
• Piano – I really want to get a keyboard (nothing too expensive) and learn how to play. I’ve always wanted to learn and I feel like this is my time!
• Travel – I don’t have to wait until the school holidays to travel which means it’s cheaper woo!!
• Cooking – I’d like to cook more and experiment.
• Drawing – I have always loved drawing, but I haven’t always had the time to do it!
• Learn a language – this has always lasted about a week and then I have given up, but it would be really cool to speak another language!
• Reading – I love reading so much, and I will have time now to read more often!
• Try new workouts – I could even go to workout classes which is something I haven’t done in a WHILE.
• The obvious – Netflix, movie nights, lazing around the house, slow mornings, doing nothing all day (because sometimes we need those days too)
• Solo dates
• Decorate my room – I have had my room repainted, but I haven’t had the time yet to decorate it!

I’m basically just going to be enjoying having more free time for a while, with no pressure and just living my life to the fullest!

What if you don’t know what career path you want to take in your 20s

I used to think ‘I wish I was one of those people who knew what they wanted to be when they grew up, and have worked towards it since they were young’, but I also think that there is a freedom of not knowing what you want to do, because you could literally do anything.

Rushing into uni for me was a mistake. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, so instead of actually thinking about it, I jumped into uni.

I am not going to make that same mistake this time. I have finished uni, I am figuring things out and I’m not going to rush into anything. There IS time to question what the future holds, what your actual interest are, what you see yourself doing etc, so don’t rush into anything, because you DO have time, and it will all work out.

There is so much pressure on us to have everything figured out, when realistically, sometimes people in their 30s don’t have everything figured out.

Countless times people have asked me ‘so what are you doing into after uni?’ And when I reply with ‘I don’t know’, they look at me as though I’m dooming myself and that I need to have a solid career path lined up, otherwise I’m going to end up a failure.

And that is not the case!

Some people don’t have a dream job, because they don’t dream of working (me lol). So it’s very hard to think of what you want to do for the rest of your life, because you want to be passionate and happy about what you do.

Reminder:

Although there is a lot of pressure to be happy and proud of your job. You are not your job. And you need to keep life outside of work and being happy a big priority!

Take small steps everyday

Thinking about planning 5 years ahead of me is overwhelming and scary. So I just take it each day at a time.

This helps me not feel so overwhelmed.

It also makes me feel relief and like there’s a pressure thats been taken off, because I don’t look so far ahead of me, I just do what I can everyday.

Before we know it, taking it each day at a time, it will be 5 years on and we will be in a place we never thought we’d be!

It’s okay to still be taking small steps everyday. Even when you are 25, and 30, and 40 and so on!

We are all on a trial run of our life. No one has experienced their life before, we all have 1 turn. So it’s okay if you are figuring things out.

Relationships in your 20s

You may be single, and thinking that you are running out of time to find the love of your life. You may be in a relationship and questioning whether they are the one.

There is so much pressure in your 20s to have everything figured out. Like if you are single you can’t just be happy on your own?! And if you are looking for someone, it’s like how are you going to find a good one?

But there is no rush. You don’t have to find someone in your 20s, you don’t have to move in with your boyfriend/girlfriend in your 20s. I would honestly just encourage you to take it slow, because we are so young.

I think we forget how young your 20s actually are.

When I think of my parents, they met in their late 20s and got married when they were 29 or 30.

I know you might be thinking – but I want to meet the love of my life now so I can have more time with them. But you will meet them when you’re supposed to meet them and the timing will be right for you.

Not everyone has the same timeline!

Your friends could be marrying the love of their life at 21, and you could be 31, and that’s totally fine!!

Stop putting pressure on yourself, or comparing yourself to others!

Friendships in your 20s

We go from being in school / uni, with large groups of people around us, to then only keeping in contact with a few people…

But what I’ve realised, is that a small circle is all you need when it comes down to it.

Being in your 20s, you can have fun and be spontaneous, and make tons of friends, but it’s okay to only have a small close circle, and then a larger group of friends.

You may not be the spontaneous type, and you may stick to your small circle and not want to make any new friends.

You may be struggling to make friends.

But you will find your people in the end.

You don’t have to stop making friends when you reach past a certain age. Like why do I feel like that?!

My parents have made some of their closest friends when they were 35, even now when they’re in their 50s.

So there is no pressure!!

I have a post more about friendships if you want to read that too! http://bigsisterera.com/why-havent-i-found-my-close-group-of-girl-friends-yet/

Thank you for reading <3

I hope this has made you feel a little better and less alone, in this overwhelming feeling / time in our lives! But I just know everything is going to be okay for us!

If you have any advice or tips about navigating your 20s, please leave them in the comments below!