Are you a big sister? This ones for you! I am going to be talking about the struggles and joys we have as a big sister, as well as tips / advice that I have learnt along the way!
Let’s talk about the pressures of being a big sister…
Setting a good example
There is always the pressure of setting a good example. I mean you have a younger sister or brother, looking up to your every move!
Whether it’s setting a good example in school, in your fashion choices, in your lifestyle choices… the pressure is definitely there.
And sometimes it’s the bad life choices we make, that make us more protective of our younger siblings, so they don’t repeat the same mistakes!
Knowing everything
Because we are the big sisters, there is a certain pressure for taboo topics. Sometimes people don’t go to their mam for advice, they go to their big sister because they know they aren’t going to get told off.
But what we tend to forget, is that our big sisters are still trying to figure out life too. I am 2 years older than my sister, which is nothing when you think about it. The only life experience I could really give my younger sister was about going through school first.
Feeling like a parent
I am guilty of caring so much about my younger sister that I feel like the parent. Sometimes I want to tell her off, and tell her not to go places, or do something that she will regret. But realistically, she won’t listen to me (lol) because I am not the parent. I can’t actually tell her where to go or what to do.
There are some conversations where I have to tell myself to act more like a friend than a parent, because I know that my younger sister doesn’t want ANOTHER parent, she wants a friend to listen to her, and give her advice, rather than outright telling her not to do something.
I feel like growing up, a lot of girls experiences are similar, and there may be something that you don’t want to happen to your younger sister, but you’ve just got to let it happen so they can experience for themselves.
Being responsible for everything
I don’t know about you guys, but I organise EVERYTHING when it comes to me and my siblings.
Including birthdays, Mother’s & Father’s Day, Christmas, you name it, I have probably organised it.
And while I love this (because I am a very organised person and need everything to go right), it is also a lot of pressure.
TBH, I don’t know if any of you big sisters can relate, but the need to have everything organised, is because I really like to see people happy.
I like to make sure that no one has to worry, and my mam and dad actually get presents (because they can be the ones stressing about everyone else’s presents and sometimes they don’t even get their own).
Taking a little more of the pressure and stress, in exchange for everyone feeling happy and as though everything is in control, makes it worth it. (But we really do need an award for this because it is HARD, and takes a great level of organisation and responsibility lol).
The traits of being a big sister…
I know that it isn’t just me.
I (the big sister and first born daughter), am organised, clean and tidy, thrives off routine, wakes up early, loves reading, loves spending time at home, has control of her financial decisions and has a small circle of friends.
My younger sister on the other hand… feral. She has the messiest room I have ever seen, she wakes up midday, has no routine whatsoever, hates reading, hasn’t touched a planner since school, is always saying she’ll pay me back lol, extroverted and is out every weekend with tons of friends.
That basically just sums up what the older and younger sister duo is like.
I live my chaotic life through them
I don’t know when it happened. But my little sister isn’t so little anymore, and she’s going out all the time and living her life, being wild.
I literally live for the drama and chaos of her life. She is like my own personal TV show that just keeps getting more and more wild.
Somewhere between me blinking, I find myself looking up to her more and more.
I saw a TikTok, where the big sister said to the little sister ‘we are best friends’ and the younger sister replied ‘well I’m definitely your best friend’, and it’s so true lol.
It went from my little sister asking if she could hang out with my friends, to me asking if I can hang out with her and her friends (and being that annoying tag along lol).
The communal wardrobe
Look, it’s a love hate thing. I love stealing her clothes, I hate when she steals mine lol. And that is mainly because she loses them or gets them dirty!!
But I do love it really. It’s these little things that make the sister relationship so great. I will always want to be there to help her, make her feel confident about her body, make her realise she is absolutely stunning.
When you think about it, unless you were actually planning to wear that item of clothing, why not let your sister borrow it. I would miss it so much if she were to not be here.
The small things like that, that could’ve got you annoyed before, are the things that you will miss, so I always let her steal anything she wants from me (within reason lol).
Tips to stay sane as the big sister
Organising your finances
I have a whole post more in depth on finances if you want to check that out! http://bigsisterera.com/how-to-budget-your-money-as-a-uni-student/
At least one sibling has to ensure that you can definitely afford presents for your parents on their birthday and Christmas!
here’s how I do that:
- Go through the entire year and mark when everyone’s birthday / celebrations is
- Roughly estimate how much you’ll spend on each person (siblings birthdays, parents birthdays, Christmas, friends birthdays, etc)
- I tend to add a little more than I think, just in case there are other occasions like someone passing their driving test, spontaneous presents, etc.
- Once you have added up everything you will spend on presents for the year and you have that number, divide it by 12 for every month in the year (e.g. £1000 / 12 = £84 roughly)
- So every month, put £84 into your savings.
- Now you know you will always have money to buy presents for people!
- And this is the same for anything you want to save up for. Like holidays etc. saving in monthly amounts rather than trying to make a large sum is much easier!
Staying on the topic of presents…
Remembering everyone’s birthdays / presents
Now that you’ve went through the whole year and any occasion that you could be buying people presents, set a reminder on your phone for each one, and set it to notify you 2 weeks before, so that you have enough time to buy a present, or get your siblings in gear to get a present.
I also have an ongoing list on my phone of present ideas that I could get people.
If I see anything or think of anything that someone would like, I write it down so that I always have something that I could get people, in case I’m stuck on what to get them.
Staying organised day to day
I couldn’t live without my planner or my notes app.
I use the Helloday planner and not only is it aesthetic, it is so helpful and keeps me in check.
A lot of us big sisters love our stationary and like to stay on top of things. So I would 100% recommend this planner (or another one of your choice of course).
Thank you for reading <3
If any of you reading are lucky enough to be an big sister, and relate to all of these things, then hi, I feel ya.
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