First date do’s and don’ts

Don’t get me wrong, it’s been 4 years since I went on a first date, but I think that also means that what I looked out for worked!! So here’s my first date do’s and don’ts!!

Disclaimer: Sometimes first dates don’t go perfect. We’re all human here, and sometimes things go wrong or we were having a bad day to start with and don’t act like ourselves on the date.

This post is just to keep in mind little things to look out for. However if your date does some of these ‘don’ts’ but you’re really getting on with them, then don’t totally rule it off.

I do believe in giving people second chances (depending on what I’m giving them a second chance for lol). I also do believe that in your gut, you will know whether you have made the right decision.

Do’s

1. Their on time

If they are late, and I’m not talking like 5 minutes late, sometimes that happens. I’m talking like 20+ minutes late.

What are you going to sit by yourself and just wait around for them?

Being on time shows that they can actually plan their time well (we want an organised king or queen), and it shows that they actually care.

It shows they have good time management and actually plan around you.

2. Polite upon meeting

When you meet someone for the first time, the polite thing to do is introduce yourself, give a quick hug, and ask how they are.

Not only does this show that they are polite, but it shows that they are showing an interest in you, which is obviously what you want.

And you generally want a polite person to be with.

3. Asks you questions about yourself

When someone is genuinely wanting to know more about you and asking questions about you, that is a green flag.

It feels good when someone is genuinely interested in you, and when you’re on a first date, you are nervous and sometimes your mind might be blank.

So when someone is there asking questions and getting you out of your mind blank, then that eases the tension and makes you feel comfortable.

4. Wear something you are confident and comfortable in

There is nothing worse than when you are uncomfortable in your clothes. Never mind meeting someone for the first time and being uncomfortable in your clothes.

And if you feel confident, then you will look confident, and overall have a better time!

Comfort & confidence = key. If you are sitting down at a restaurant and you can’t breathe because you chose to wear the tightest pants… that’s all you are going to be thinking about.

But if you opt for a looser pant, or even a flow dress, or whatever it is that you feel more comfortable in, then you can sit down and eat in each and just focus on your date.

Feeling confident is sexy!

5. Remember to make sure the conversation is flowing from both ends

Obviously you can’t force a conversation to flow.

But if you notice that you are talking a lot, then make an effort to ask them some questions to make sure the conversation is equal!

6. Talk about things that are important to you

This is a great time to tell them exactly what you like.

If they don’t like those things, then you know they may not be the ones for you!

And if they are interested in all of the things that you are talking about, then that’s amazing.

You don’t want things to be coming to the surface when you’re 4 months into dating, and you start realising they don’t like anything you like.

7. Talk about what you want your future to look like

If you talk about your future (I’m not saying scare them with marriage and babies), but it is a good chance for you to see what they want for their future and whether you align and fit into that.

Topics you could cover:

• Where you want to live
  • Or do you want to travel every 3 months?
• Your future career path / ambitions
• If you don’t want kids or marriage this may be a good chance to say it

8. Tell someone you are close to your location

Just to be safe, especially if you have never met, and don’t know the person.

You can’t trust everyone, and not everyone has good intentions.

It also means that if the date is going awfully bad, then you can think of something so the person can come and rescue you.

9. Have fun!

Remember that you are literally there to get to know someone knew and have fun!

Even if you come out of the date and don’t see it going any further, at least you know that you had fun! (At least tried to have fun if it was a particularly bad date lol).

Your date will love seeing a bright and happy version of you upon meeting, and it will radiate in the room!

Don’ts

1. Don’t drink too much

Having a few drinks isn’t bad, but you don’t want to get blacked out.

You don’t even know this person, and you just never know people’s intentions. You can’t trust everyone you meet.

So I would definitely keep your wits about you!

I also don’t think it would make an amazing first impression if you or your date is blacked out and you’re having to baby sit them all night.

2. Don’t be scared to eat

Girl, get something satisfying.

Do not think that you have to order a light meal because you’re scared of what they will think of you.

You deserve to eat, and fuel your body, and keep your energy up for this first date!

If the person you are on a date with isn’t happy about how much or little you are eating, then they probably need to do some inner work on themselves.

3. Don’t compare them to your ex

No one person is the same. So don’t compare.

This goes both ways, if he is comparing you to their ex, then that is a bit of a red flag.

Why would they be thinking about their ex in this situation? And even worse why would they feel the need to bring them up?

4. Don’t be late

If they are late, then that’s just a number one red flag.

If they are more than 20 minutes late, I’d be tempted to leave honestly.

Especially if they haven’t been in contact and you are just waiting for them.

Obviously sometimes it depends on the circumstances, but if you were on time, and are usually on time to places, then why aren’t they?

5. Don’t stalk them on social media

This was I was questioning whether this is a do or a don’t, but tbh I don’t think you should do this.

I think it’s better to go into a date fresh and learn new things about them on the date.

I will escalate things very quickly, and start imagining a person who doesn’t even exist, and then overlook any red flags on the date.

I don’t want to have any type of feelings for this person when I go on the date.

I want to go on the date, and be able to see the red flags CLEARLY. Not overlooking them because I’ve already got imaginary feelings for him.

I feel like I will be even more nervous if I go into the date knowing everything abut them because then they have expectations to meet.

6. If they talk about sex too much

(If that’s your vibe too, then go for it)

But if you’re actually trying to meet someone for the long haul, the last thing you want is for them to be constantly talking about sex. It doesn’t look like they have the best intentions.

Of course you can flirt! But they should be at least making an effort to get to know you, to see if you genuinely do like them and find them attractive. Because what if you don’t?!

That would be so off putting if you were questioning whether you liked them and their personality and then all they can do is talk about that… red flag.

7. Don’t carry the date on if you’re not interested

If you aren’t vibing and they ask to go to a second location, maybe it’s a bar, or their place, DO NOT try and be polite and say yes.

I know this one is quite self explanatory. But coming from someone who is a bit of a people pleaser and doesn’t want to upset or make anyone feel uncomfortable, this is important.

Do not waste your time if you don’t like them.

Don’t lead them on by going, because things could escalate and mistakes could be made.

8. Don’t put pressure on it

There is so much pressure put on first dates. It can be so nerve wracking, especially if you have feelings for the person before hand.

But realise that you are only going to your date to get to know someone and see if there’s any potential. You aren’t going there to get married at first sight!

Along with not putting pressure on the actual date. Don’t put pressure on yourself! I have a blog post on how to look high maintenance when you are low maintenance, which is perfect for dates, especially if you are nervous leading up to it! http://bigsisterera.com/how-to-look-high-maintenance/

Thank you for reading <3

I hope this post helped if you are getting ready for your first date ever, or a first date with someone new!

First dates can be so daunting, and there is a lot of pressure on first dates for everything to go smoothly.

The main thing to remember is to have fun! All you are doing is meeting someone new, or getting to know someone better. So don’t put pressure on anything.

Remember you are beautiful, hot, amazing, smart… so you will be absolutely fine!

Leave in the comments below any first date experiences you would like to share!